The Blog That Doesn’t Really Exist

This is the blog I would write if I had the time to write a blog, which I don’t. That’s because I’m a narcoleptic mommy. Every wonder what it would be like to have two small children to take care of and a household to run in a day with only 21 hours? That’s pretty much what it’s like to be a mother and homemaker with narcolepsy. When the kids take a nap, I need a nap, too. At night I get all the sleep I can, but would always like more.

How different is that from being a non-narcoleptic mommy, you might wonder?

Fortunately, I’ve devised a simple little experiment you can try at home to simulate this experience. First, you’ll need two small children, under age 3, in diapers. If you do not already have these around the house, borrow some. If you do not normally have responsibility for multiple small children, take care of these two children for at least a week to build up an authentic baseline of exhaustion. Then, take a hearty dose of Benadryl allergy medication. Don’t exceed the maximum dosage indicated on the package, for your own safety, but don’t skimp either. Wait fifteen minutes or so. If Benadryl has the soporific effect on you that it has on many adults, you should begin to feel very much like a narcoleptic mommy. Congratulations! Grab yourself a big mug of coffee, and try to make it through the day.

So given the fact that I’m a narcoleptic mommy, I don’t really have time to write a blog. I’m hoping to pop in and make an entry in this non-existent blog every once in a while, but don’t get your hopes too high about seeing my every day. Or even every week. Of course, when I do post, you may be lucky enough to get anything from cute pictures of my kids to awesome recipes, or maybe even occasional thoughts (I do, every few weeks, find myself with an actual thought!) on gender, academic life (more later), culture, yogurt, and more.

For now, try to stay awake.